We promise according to our hopes; we fulfill according to our fears.
–François de La Rochefoucauld
Keep your word as a negotiator, even it is expensive and inconvenient. Your word is your true worth.
We all meet overcommitters. They are nice and optimistic, convinced they can help, and then nothing happens. They want to please others, look good, or gain trust too quickly. They underestimate the cost of their promises, or they just stop making effort if they no longer benefit. Then, they claim a lack of time or an unforeseen event to justify their inaction. Some may not even bother apologizing and will become amnesic. Jean-Jacques Rousseau saw it clearly: “Those that are most slow in making a promise are the most faithful in the performance of it.”
Keeping your word is actually valued more by others than exceeding your promises. Negative experiences stick more and longer in the minds of people. We have all experienced this disappointment when someone says they will call back but don’t, or they will make an introduction and they don’t. Because they don’t feel immediate consequences or are in a powerful position, they don’t feel guilty and refuse to question themselves. They don’t realize that their reputation is eroding like the base of a cliff slowly deterio- rated by waves (and I am not talking about bigger promises that, when not kept, can have a devastating effect). Apologies won’t totally fix them, especially if it is not the first time it happens, or if breaking the promise generates a loss or damage.
It is better to make fewer promises and keep them all. If you are unsure you can keep your word, do not offer it. How do you want to build trust with others if you don’t do what you say? It is counterproductive. Make promises but keep them, even small ones, and you will be better trusted. Yes, it can cost you to keep your word, it may take more of your time or stress you out, but your image won’t be tarnished this way.
Not keeping your word is not necessarily being dishonest. You may have genuinely overpromised something or just been forgetful. Memory slips can be explained in different ways, including stress, which prevents one from being focused, and lack of sleep. Don’t overextend yourself,and keep yourself balanced and healthy to avoid those slips.
Research shows that corporations and leaders who keep their promises generate better returns, are more productive and profitable, and develop bet- ter relationships. They also have a higher level of attractiveness.
Read more in The Master Key: Unlock Your Influence & Succeed in Negotiation
