While providing negotiation training in Singapore and the rest of Asia, I often come across two important misconceptions about negotiation. Human beings like to take shortcuts and these misconceptions are two of them.
The first misconception is the belief that negotiation equals persuasion. People like to assess an ability to negotiate based on levels of persuasion. It is a mistake.
There is no doubt that persuasion forms part of negotiation but negotiation is much more than persuasion. It is not just a verbal game, a debate of ideas or proving the superiority of an intellect.
The frame of negotiation, meaning preparation, trust, rapport, and the environment you create around negotiation, is as important if not more than a sales pitch or an offer.
As Robert Cialdini put it once “you have to be a skilled gardener “to perform high at negotiating.
You have to create an environment and a state of mind that makes people receptive to your ideas.
If you prepare the ground well, then you will be more persuasive.
The second misconception is to think that a skilled negotiator can enter any deal or persuade anyone, including the most deceptive people.
Again, I think that this is a mistake.
Why would you enter a deal if you see red flags? Why would you accept some conditions that could put you at risk? Why would you enter a negotiation if trust is not present?
Deserting a position and leaving the negotiation table is not necessarily a sign of weakness.
And if you look at the best negotiators, they were not able to convince anyone all the time. What made them actually successful is not only their ability to persuade but also their ability to navigate by being intuitive and adaptive, including finding shelter in a creek to avoid the damages of a storm.
Refining your negotiation skills starts by overcoming these two misconceptions.
